Have you ever known someone who you completely and absolutely dispise, know you shouldn't give them another thought, or a second, or a minute of your time, in all ways is everything you shouldn't want in a person, and reminds you everthing about yourself that you'd like to forget?
Have you ever suddenly felt stupid for asking an open question and waiting for a response?
Well, I'm totally sick of being so hung up on this guy. We met when we were in the 6th grade.
But we've been really good friends ever since... False. I hated him for the longest time, for so many things, I don't even remember any more, cause they were stupid. So, stupid, but I don't know, I just, I don't know. He's recently told me he still has feelings for me. Which doesn't, help, at all.
I feel really dumb blogging about this. But I had to vent now, before I blew on a real person. (and not the internet..?)
Lists are good, right? So I'm gonna make a list, of, every reason why I shouldn't give him another thought.
#1? He has a girlfriend.
#2? They've been dating for more than a year.
#3? He's dangerous.
#4? He's immature.
#5? Major anger issues.
#6? Other issues.
#7? Issues.
#8. I think I love him.
But what do I know? Right? What do you call it, when you can't stop thinking about him? When everytime he wals into a room, a part of me comes alive, something I never knew before... And everytime he leaves, a part, a part of me dies.
Pathetic.
I'm so pathetic... But maybe I'm not. Maybe I'm just making up this feeling, it's all my imagination. Fake. He's real. But what I feel when I think of him, Isn't.
Real.
I wish I could cancel the pain, the time, everything I've put into that boy... But, I just, can't.
But I'm sick of this. So I'll pretend again, and agian. Until maybe I won't have to pretend anymore. Or hide.
Quote-
Song-
Chasing cars-Snow patrol
-Grace
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